Celeste sucks

@teto Here's one reason I dropped it. Then I learned later it was made by a tranny or something. That piece of shit was torrented so no money was harmed in the making of this review.

@teto I don't remember it being that unfair, it was very challenging though

@teto " @Blouie, I feel like these people are conflating challenging gameplay with their hatred for troons. Isn't This Is The End or Super Meat Boy also like that in some sequences? Thoughts?"

@WandererUber @teto
> walking sim? tranny
> action adventure? tranny
> difficult speedrun bait? tranny

what genre is left for the young sensitive man?

@lain animal crossing

@lain @teto @WandererUber Jump king, Cuphead, Frogger, Touhou, the weird game when you are in a large cauldron whose name I forgot,... Must be all trannies making those games smh

@lain @teto @WandererUber point and click adventure game

@azure @teto @WandererUber nietzsche would have played them

@teto there are really good precision platformers out there that don't rely on this type of kaizo-level perfect execution. that's usually the mark of a bad game.

@lain @teto @WandererUber i feel like nietzsche the type to get too heavily into visual novels such that he never finishes a single one of his works

@azure @teto @lain @WandererUber I think he means the fediverse nigger who sexted with bot

@mia @lain kicad

@phnt @teto @lain @WandererUber https://store.steampowered.com/app/2150660/Touhou_New_World/ (windows only)

@bajax @teto @lain @WandererUber @mint I'm not a target audience for most of these games anyway. I played through Celeste, didn't care about the story at all and instead enjoyed the soundtrack which isn't bad compared to the slop the same author made for Minecraft.

Instead I'm the absolute stereotype of RPG players that plays almost exclusively female mages.

@phnt @teto @lain getting over it with Bennett Foddy, made by Bennett Foddy

@lain @teto @WandererUber

@pettanko @teto @WandererUber this speaks to me

@nuukaset @lain unfortunately no

@meowski @phnt @lain @WandererUber damn I can't believe there's no way to play this on Linux lol

@teto @phnt @lain @WandererUber that's a shame cause my windows 10 machine isn't allowed on the internet and i doubt it could be installed offline

@lain @teto @WandererUber stop letting them take things from you just by appropriating them. same phenomenon by which we lost all our cities in the USA to black people-- we just let them take it

@nuukaset @mia @lain that's difficult speedrun bait tho

@meowski @phnt @lain @WandererUber I was being ironic nigga

@teto @phnt @lain @WandererUber i wasn't. taisei the touhou clone is the only game i have installed on linux

Gears of War

Oh wait never mind

@meowski @phnt @lain @WandererUber you have windows? Lmao

@teto @phnt @lain @WandererUber i need it for cad/cam and a few other windows only things

@lain @teto @WandererUber X-Com: Enemy Unknown (1994) mods

@mia @lain ooh thats cool

@Eiswald @teto I had it on my wishlist years ago then I heard about it, dewishlisted and ignored.

@lain @WandererUber @teto I should mention 2000 people got banned on discord just for joining the now nuked X-Piratez server, which got spicy at times. this included a bunch of different X-Com mod developers that were there just to cooperate in tech matters and otherwise didn't participate. it's almost like a community service...

@lain @WandererUber @teto The best one: gambling with cute PNGs

@meowski @phnt @lain @WandererUber okay

@teto @phnt @lain @WandererUber proprietary cad/cam is vastly superior. believe me i've tried what's available on linux and it exists, it's ok, yes, but for my workflow and equipment i need to use windows (at least for now)

@meowski @teto @lain @WandererUber I've made a fully modeled simple transmission in FreeCAD once years ago. It wasn't something I would call fun. It's doable until you start doing assemblies or complicated drawings. More than half the features simply don't exist or have annoying weird quirks.

@phnt @teto @lain @WandererUber i tried freecad on linux years ago and vaguely recall it had bugs. might be worth checking back on it. i also tried siemens NX on linux for some simple architectural stuff, also buggy.

@teto the game is fine, fun even. anyone who blames "everything covered in spikes" on celeste isn't a real platformhead. its been a near-constant theme since super meat boy. but yes, the troon faux-narrative of celeste is obviously shit

@merchantHelios "its been a near-constant theme since super meat boy" not in good platformers like mario, crash, et cetera

@teto no

@merchantHelios I just dont like most indie platformers. Not really hard to figure out.

@teto i think it would be more accurate to say you don't like difficult platformers, which is perfectly fine - i dont like The Messenger, for instance

@merchantHelios indie game devs think difficult makes them worth buying over a mario game. It just doesnt

@teto this conversation sadly is just a matter of subjective taste bc if you did enjoy difficult platformers you would be able to tell the difference between a good and bad one

@merchantHelios except for wonder, that one had too many stupid gimmicks

@teto for the record, i do think nearly all the 3d mario games are excellent

@menherahair@eientei.org @lain@lain.com @WandererUber@poa.st @teto@cawfee.club Kino, I need to get gud at the OG X-Com to play mods.

@urchin @teto @lain @WandererUber vanilla has way worse bullshit than mods but the bullshit in mods is way more insidious so it's cock and ball torture no matter how you approach it

@merchantHelios my relationship with platformers is complicated and very lore heavy

@merchantHelios I did like A Hat in Time, just to be clear. But thats not a "spikes everywhere" game

@teto i haven't played it so i'll withhold judgement beyond "it looks good"

@merchantHelios I recommend it if you like mario 64 and mario sunshine

@teto @merchantHelios the loli with a moustache is disturbing

@teto @merchantHelios not to mention the bri'ish voice, horrifying

@takao @merchantHelios british voice acting has been way better than american voice acting from my experience. Yes I did play xenoblade 1 with british voices.

@takao @merchantHelios she has a mustache because she's evul

@takao @merchantHelios also the game was, from what I can tell, made by relatively normal people. Just some nintendo soylennials but I think there wasnt even a single swarthoid in the game

@teto @merchantHelios I'd hesitate to call the Danish "people", but sure

@takao @merchantHelios this isnt funny to europeans, just in case you couldnt tell

@teto @takao the only people who are allowed to dehumanize the danish are their neighbors

@teto @merchantHelios it's evil https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AIJs9_b_3fo

@takao @merchantHelios sorry but I am NOT american so I really dont give a shit

@teto @merchantHelios amerifat voice acting is horrible too, it's JP or nothing at all as far as I'm concerned. An exception could be French in Evil Twin but it was both the original dub, contrasted with horrible angloid voice acting and actually good.

@takao @merchantHelios youre the sort of weeaboo people make fun of

No I have to defend that kind of elitism, I hate the english dubs in most instances as well. People who's only excuse for not watching the Japanese dubs with subtitles are probably illiterate.

@lethn @teto @takao average ncd user level intelligence on display

@merchantHelios @lethn @takao it's sad almost

@teto @merchantHelios *tips katana*

@takao @merchantHelios

@lethn @bajax @teto @Inginsub @lain @matty @WandererUber @mint
>he doesn't know
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexual_lighting

@phnt @lethn @bajax @teto @Inginsub @lain @matty @WandererUber @mint These fucking fags are trying to claim lighting?

@phnt @teto @Inginsub @lain @lethn @matty @WandererUber @mint it fucking sucks because I like this lighting scheme why the fuck do they get to keep claiming all these things they should not be able to claim. fucking can't have rainbows anymore either because it means something retarded to somebody retarded

@Eiswald @phnt @lethn @bajax @teto @Inginsub @lain @matty @mint I'm moving into perpetual darkness

Yeah I feel the same way about rainbows too I actually like them and they can look nice but they've been politicised to the extreme thanks to these retards. I want to put them into my game potentially but I'm thinking twice and it pisses me off I even have to bother with that.

@lethn @teto @Inginsub @phnt @lain @matty @WandererUber @mint have a rainbow come out after a heterosexual marriage ceremony

That might be the way to do it LOL.

@WandererUber @bajax @teto @Inginsub @phnt @lethn @matty @Eiswald @mint

@lain @teto @WandererUber
Hentai puzzle games

@teto my coworkers LOVE celeste and i still to this day haven't played it and know almost nothing about it

@binkle @teto extremely symbolic and "deep" precision platformer

@bajax @teto @binkle it's gay as hell, cool mechanics though. Literally stupid shit though.

@bajax @teto oh wait hold on this is jogging some memories doesn't it have like 3 or 4 disjointed art styles in different places

@binkle @bajax @teto I thought it's a steaven universe spinoff

@phnt @teto @lain @WandererUber why is touhou in there? Dankamu is not designed like this at all (well touhou does have pretty mid bullet patterns but it ain’t like this image). Non shooting game players think you need to dodge every bullet in a touhou or cave game but in reality you only need to dodge the ones which will hit you. This seems obvious but means the game is as much about information parsing as it is execution

@KaiserKitty @teto @lain @WandererUber It came to mind as games that are challenging while being still popular. There's no more thought behind that list.

@phnt @teto @lain @WandererUber fedi when they have to play a game which doesn’t involve clicking on a map or choosing dialog options to date a high schooler

@KaiserKitty @teto @lain @WandererUber
>which doesn’t involve clicking on a map
You've just described every Paradox Excel spreadsheet simulator :D

@KaiserKitty @teto @phnt @lain > choosing dialog options to date a high schooler
tranny ass seethe reply

@WandererUber @teto @phnt @lain play a real arcade game: this is 100% free doujin kino.

https://yosshin4004.github.io/x68k/crs68k/official/index.html

@KaiserKitty @WandererUber @lain @teto And for EU4 even the second part of dating a high schooler. Why have a family tree when you can have a family circle :drake_yes:

@phnt @WandererUber @lain @teto oh, now i see the screenshots that 2hu new world works on steam deck, which is some flavor of arch (?) but steam store lists only windows

@mint @teto @phnt @lain @WandererUber sure but some of you niggas literally just can't handle losing a game. it reads like "is hollowknight too hard?". rofl. Celeste sucks because of the art and story, not because of the genuinely fun and finely paced puzzles.

@f0x @phnt @lain @WandererUber @mint

@teto @phnt @lain @WandererUber @mint you're literally a pedophile rofl.

@meowski @teto @lain @WandererUber They always list only the officially supported platforms by the developer, Linux compatibility is either hidden behind "Steam Deck compatibility" on the sidebar, or from the community on protondb.

@merchantHelios @takao danish people should be part of germany anyways

@WandererUber @teto I dunno I don't think Meat Boy is ever that pixel perfect most of the levels are pretty open and meat boy is super floaty and fast most of the challenge comes from trying to go fast

@f0x @teto @phnt @lain @WandererUber @mint

@maxmustermann @teto @phnt @lain @WandererUber @mint they trans'd my damned sims. I just wanted to have fun cute shit but women can't have anything without it being gay because faggots, furries, and pedos target anything cute and fun.

@f0x @teto @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann If you can trust some sims autists to mod a game properly and not include malware...
https://basedmods.org/game/the-sims-4

@phnt @teto @f0x @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann these two are the opposite?

@lain @teto @f0x @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann Ideally you could just set a region of the world where you Sims are situated/other toggles and that would solve this problem for most people, but that's too much to ask from EA and not that aligned with what they are want.

@phnt @teto @f0x @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann the secret cheat for “no degen stuff” is to install the Middle East versions of everything

@lain @teto @f0x @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann Yeah, that has been true for many years now. CoD and SpiderMan are probably most notorious for this. Either the Chinese or Middle East versions.

@phnt @teto @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann "it's racist to say you want to be surrounded by peers, but also i HATE seeing white people in media, i need more people like ME, but instead of making my OWN things i'm gonna color over YOURS "

@teto @meowski @phnt @lain @WandererUber it isn't cod
https://www.protondb.com/app/2150660

@menherahair @teto @lain @WandererUber man this reminds me of power dolls for dos

@phnt @bajax @teto @Inginsub @lain @lethn @matty @mint what the fuck.

@WandererUber @bajax @teto @Inginsub @phnt @lain @lethn @matty @mint "just cranked my hog to porn guess this color from that blade runner movie means so and so"

@f0x @teto @lain @WandererUber @mint Being completely disconnected from new mainstream games/media turns out to be a good thing.

It's not like cultural propaganda actually works on your country when you live in statistically one of the most racist countries in Europe.

@f0x @bajax @teto @binkle play black ops 2 instead

@PurpCat @bajax @teto @binkle i've been considering. I'm an r6 enjoyer myself. It's no mistake the best operators are white passing europeans and americans.

@f0x @teto @PurpCat @binkle I think the r6 characters are based on real special forces people so it might just be because of reality

@bajax @teto @PurpCat @binkle oh yeah. I've never met a useful Capitão or Melusi player in my fucking life. For defense I'm an Ela and Kapkan main, for attack I'm an Ace and Finka main. I'm trying to get better at Kali just for the plane map but rofl... Finka generally does better on that map, because Kali's usefulness depends on the defense being retards, which wins you like 70% of matches buuuut...

@bajax @teto @binkle @f0x black ops 2 was made before the operator fad
you just have two teams and you got different player models based on your loadout

@bajax @binkle @f0x @teto
https://archive.org/download/plutonium_torrents/pluto_t6_full_game.torrent
https://plutonium.pw/
enjoy getting 360 noscopes on people

@lain @teto @f0x @phnt @mint @maxmustermann horseshoe coal tbh
not even close. People want a normal white town, irl and in the Sims. You can have shariah enforcers AND junkies shooting heroin in the town center in your save, if you feel like that. Most people don't want that.

@Eiswald @teto I considered Celeste way overrated even before the tranny retcon. It's a good game, a 7/10 or maybe even 8/10 if you like the genre, but a GOTY, let alone a best game ever contender? Fuck right off with that bullshit!

@merchantHelios @teto I can't speak for teto but, I like a lot of hard games. I personally don't like these sorts of platformers very much because I think they're a tad boring, uninventive and aesthetically bereft (yes I realize I'm painting with a broad brush here), not because they're difficult. I think the all encompassing "every single obstacle in the game kills you instantly" design is often used as a bit of a shortcut for less imaginative developers.

But above all else I'm going to sign off on any meme shitting on Celeste because it's a vile tranny game. That's just how it is for me, I'm not gonna shit on people for enjoying Super Meat Boy or whatever, despite my somewhat harsh words there are far worse game design trends than anything exhibited by these games and frankly, if you made "Celeste but with great aesthetics" I'd probably have a lot of fun with it.

@LittleTom @teto see that's the thing though, Celeste (while it certainly isn't as good as the troons make it out to be) is an extremely competently designed platformer regardless of difficulty. It's actually quite easy for almost all of the base campaign, but it's just fun to move around in. And the game itself (not it's sad excuse for a story) is not aesthetically bereft in the slightest. The pixel art is very well done and the ost is genuinely 10/10. If the critiques people generally levy at Celeste were based on anything besides the story and the optional trial levels you don't unlock until you've played at least a few dozen hours, I would be far more inclined to agree that it's "just a tranny game"

@merchantHelios @teto For me the tranny stuff is a millstone that tanks everything else about the aesthetics. I understand where you're coming from though.

@LittleTom @teto yeah and i understand why the game has the reputation it does. which is a fucking shame, because the troon shit was added WELL AFTER the game came out

@f0x @bajax @teto @binkle play They Bleed Pixels instead

@WandererUber I don't like super meat boy either.

@teto @WandererUber I never liked subpar meat boy so celeste taking the same formula and making it about gay sex wasn't very appealing.

@LittleTom @teto >super meat boy bad
high performance liquid chromatography filtered

@WandererUber @teto I don't actually think it's bad I just dislike Edmund's art and am not particularly fond of the "you die in 1 hit but the levels are super short and you respawn instantly" formula personally.

@LittleTom @teto I get the former but I can't understand the latter. Blouie is a big fan of that "ugly-cute" art but I'm not myself. Dismissed Binding of Isaac for the same reason.

@WandererUber @teto the visuals in isaac actually just ruin the game completely for me, I'm sure it's super fun I just can't do it.

tbh isaac was fun enough that it got ripped off by 8 million games that do it just as well

@Paultron @teto @WandererUber If you got like a top 3 isaac clones list I would love to hear it, I've been too lazy to look for them myself.

enter the gungeon is the best one direct copy without a doubt
synthetik has some isaac DNA in it but turned it way more action-y
bonus points for noita which isn't a copy but is a real good spin on roguelike

Can't stand Gungeon. But I can't even think of a top down twin-stick style dungeon crawler in the roguelite space I do like. The only roguelite I'd play is 20XX which is just MMX, different genre entirely. Or the couple good card battlers

@phnt @bajax @teto @Inginsub @lain @lethn @matty @WandererUber @mint I didn't know this because I'm not a faggot

way before he castrated himself, the Celestroon made a pretty good free metroidvania called An Untitled Story. I even beat it.

https://www.mobygames.com/game/124075/an-untitled-story/

I always found the game to be mediocre. It's just old school zelda dungeon crawling with no overworld or whimsy and an "I hate my mom for taking me to sunday school" aesthetic.

@chainsaw_appreciator @teto @WandererUber Yeah but i dunno I like Zelda 1 and its briskly paced, combat heavy dungeons so making an infinite rogueshite game out of that seems like a decent idea to me. I just hate the dead baby poop aesthetic.

Yeah it's not a bad game per se. There's just something about it I can't quite articulate that makes it feel like a newgrounds flash game that started punching above it's weight.

@chainsaw_appreciator @teto @WandererUber Speaking of newgrounds I liked the Alien Hominid console game they made a million years ago quite a bit.

@teto Celeste is one of the only games I've ever refunded on Steam.

@Vo @f0x @bajax @teto @binkle that game is ok. unfortunately, Zoe Quinn worked on it

@phnt @teto @f0x @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann trump 2020 💀

@ra1n @teto @f0x @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann
thought-based-cringe.jpg

@phnt @teto @f0x @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann its cause trump is in the Epstein files xP

@ra1n @teto @f0x @phnt @lain @WandererUber @mint As figure Epstein despised.

@ra1n @teto @f0x @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann No, I find anyone deeply invested in politics to be dumb at best and extremely retarded at worst. If a party you vote for, or the president you vote for is a part of your personality/identity, you are an idiot.

@ra1n @WandererUber @f0x @lain @mint @phnt @teto

Also the Epstein files are the latest establishment talking points in a long chain of attempts of getting rid of populism. If Trump was in the Esptein files and it was bad, why didn't they use it to indict him just to have him in prison for something like it was done to Al Capone? Could it be the entire establishment and half of the "Masters of the Universe™" were in there, because they fell into a botch standard honey trap?

@phnt @teto @f0x @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann Im not that invested In politics. I couldn't vote in american politics anyways cause im british :P

@phnt @teto @f0x @lain @ra1n @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann Ive been around politics and political dickheads most of my life.

Trust me you're much happier ignoring most of it.

@phnt @WandererUber @f0x @lain @maxmustermann @mint @teto bring back Joe Biden /s

@ra1n @teto @f0x @phnt @lain @WandererUber @mint Leave him alone! He has alzheimers. Also you are bong. Shouldn't you post how much Stramer sucks?

@maxmustermann @teto @f0x @phnt @lain @WandererUber @mint he does suck basically need a VPN to do anything over here

@ra1n @teto @phnt @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann shut the fuck up faggot.

@f0x @teto @phnt @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann im a straight white male

@ra1n @teto @phnt @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann lurk more applies to everything. If you think biden is even alive, then..

@ra1n @teto @phnt @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann you're spiritually a retarded nigger.

@f0x @teto @phnt @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann im retarded but im white

@ra1n @teto @phnt @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann does being called a vantablackened soul bother you

@f0x @teto @phnt @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann nop

@ra1n @teto @f0x @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann
>f0x rn
angry-fox.jpg

@ra1n @teto @phnt @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann my point is. If you think any figurehead is a good choice, you're a thoughtless cunt. They don't mean anything. And you picked the side that is openly evil.

@phnt @teto @lain @ra1n @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann >hey is it okay if me, as a brit, put my two cents on this american pol topic

there's a reason your people weren't involved in the first place. We hate brits because you're faggy and raped. fuck off.

@f0x @teto @lain @ra1n @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann I agree, but you seem to be taking a joke a little too seriously.

>We hate brits because you're faggy and raped. fuck off.
Thank god I'm not a bong and instead from a place 2/3 of the world doesn't even know exists.
top-gear-britain-worst-country-in-the-world.mp4

@f0x @teto @phnt @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann ok bro #triggered

@f0x @WandererUber @lain @maxmustermann @mint @phnt @teto im a brit and i love baked beans on toast. what about it

@phnt @teto @f0x @lain @ra1n @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann You guys have really good beer.

just saying

@ins0mniak @teto @f0x @lain @ra1n @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann Can you even buy anything besides Pilsner Urquell in the US? The good Budweiser exited the market there semi-recently I think.

@phnt @teto @f0x @lain @ra1n @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann Oh yeah you can buy pretty much anything.

Theres a place right by me called Total Wine. Its like the size of a warehouse, they have anything you can imagine.

@ins0mniak @teto @f0x @lain @ra1n @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann I mean any other czech beers besides the original Pilsner. The good budweisser might be sold under the Czechvar brand, but I don't think it's exported into the US anymore.

@phnt @teto @lain @ra1n @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann oh idgaf, I enjoy yelling at people.

@phnt @ins0mniak @teto @lain @ra1n @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann there's actually a pretty good passive beer market here, apparently.

@phnt @teto @f0x @lain @ra1n @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann Yeah they label each section according to country so they have a few. I like pilsners the best....tho they could be distributed by budweiser not sure.

Im really not a fan of those at all, bud, bud light etc

@f0x @ins0mniak @teto @lain @ra1n @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann From what I've heard US craft beer is very nice, but it is apparently very local to the brewery and isn't distributed widely.

@ins0mniak @teto @f0x @lain @ra1n @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann
>Im really not a fan of those at all, bud, bud light etc
Yeah, I wouldn't even drink those. They are imitations of the original czech budweisser from 19th century and are now very different. Just to give you a reference, Heineken is usually considered the absolute worst of the worst here. You can barely buy anything worse than that.

@phnt @teto @f0x @lain @ra1n @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann yeah pretty much, tho there are some national ones that are solid now.

for the longest time making your own beer was illegal and starting up a small brewery was near impossible, but once they ditched those laws things completely changed. If you like beer we're pretty much the place to be.

@phnt @teto @f0x @lain @ra1n @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann oh for sure man, and I really don't get the Heineken thing. Stuff tastes like piss, its freaking gross. i feel like pilsners should be light and crisp not skunky lol

@ins0mniak @teto @f0x @phnt @lain @WandererUber @mint @maxmustermann Heineken is my fav beer