You will never be a real gamer. You have no consoles, you have no games, you have no skills You are a filthy casual twisted by mobile games and ads into a crude mockery of Nintendo's perfection.

All the “games” you have are mobile and match 3. Behind your back people mock you. Your “discord friends” laugh at your casual appearance behind closed doors.

Gamers are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed gamers to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even casuals who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a gamer. Your gaming skill is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a rhythm gamer home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your iPhone, infected with Candy Crush.

You will never be skilled. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the ads for a free continue creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.

Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a PC, download Genshin Impact, put around 3 hours into it, and plunge into the cold abyss of the gacha system. Your parents will find about you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your Apple ID, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a casual is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably normal.

This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

@lucy
WDYM I have sex consoles

@realcaseyrollins you have what now

@lucy

🤣🤣🤣

I meant to write "six consoles"

@realcaseyrollins i have 2, a gba sp and a ps3

@realcaseyrollins actually glad im not a gamer

@lucy @realcaseyrollins you have 1 console and a bluray player*

@vriska @realcaseyrollins you get it <3

@lucy

I'm sad I'm not a gamer (I have a life)

This is why I was trying to reference lol: https://youtu.be/tbvO_y5PliA

@vriska @lucy @realcaseyrollins

@mia @realcaseyrollins @lucy many understand this

@vriska @realcaseyrollins @lucy they even cancelled linux on the ps3

you can’t even play tux racer on it

@vriska @mia @vriska @mia @lucy
Huh? The #PS3 was in the golden era of FPS, sports, and open world gaming

@realcaseyrollins @mia @lucy yeah, the golden era for all of those games being on xbox 360 lmfao

@realcaseyrollins @vriska @mia no. no it fucking wasn't. holy cope wtf

@vriska @mia @vriska @mia @lucy
Those games were on the #PS3 to bruh

#Halo isn't the only shooting game in the world 😂

@realcaseyrollins @vriska @mia @lucy BROS HOP ON RESISTANCE 2 BROS

@realcaseyrollins @mia @lucy how much sony paying you for these posts

@mia @vriska @lucy @vriska @mia
No? Wasn't there an explosion of popularity for games in those genres on that console?

#COD, #RDR2, #GTAV, #Minecraft, etc.

@realcaseyrollins @vriska @lucy those are all mainly xbox/pc titles

@realcaseyrollins @vriska @mia aren't all these games on xbox and pc anyway?

@mia @vriska @lucy @vriska @mia
They are but more people bought the #PS3 than #Xbox360, so didn't more people play those games on the #PS3 than #Xbox360?

@snacks @mia @realcaseyrollins @vriska i barely noticed that game even existed

@realcaseyrollins @mia @lucy that is statistically not true lmfao

@mia @vriska @snacks @vriska @mia @lucy
Console gaming only started to get enshittified in the #PS4 era IMHO, everything went downhill except for graphics

@vriska @mia @vriska @mia @lucy
🤨 I've never heard this take before.

@vriska @realcaseyrollins @lucy also some of those titles are ps4

@vriska @realcaseyrollins @mia yup ps3 sold more units

@lucy @vriska @realcaseyrollins yeah but probably also sold more in japan vs rest of the world

@mia @vriska @mia @vriska @lucy
True, a lot of good #PS3 games ended up getting remastered for the #PS4 IIRC

@realcaseyrollins @mia @lucy it took sony 3 extra years of sales to sell more than 360 after the 360 was no longer available for sale because sony knew people wanted cheap bluray players lmfao

@realcaseyrollins @mia @lucy in 2014 when the 360 was taken off the market the sales numbers were 84 million to 80 million in favor of the 360

@realcaseyrollins @vriska @mia @lucy

@vriska @realcaseyrollins @mia @lucy It worked for the PS2, a lot of people originally got it because it was the best cheap DVD player on the market for a few years. It just had a great library to go with it as other DVD players got cheaper.

@mrsaturday @vriska @mia @lucy @realcaseyrollins And now it's the PS5 that has no game. History repeats itself

@realcaseyrollins @vriska @mia @lucy gaylo

@vriska @realcaseyrollins @mia @lucy they just delisted the 360 few weeks ago

@mia @vriska @mrsaturday @vriska @mia @lucy
Replace #PS3 with #PS5 and this meme is a gem

@realcaseyrollins @vriska @mia @lucy The Linkin Park cover is pretty damn hard to beat

@vriska@lizards.live @lucy@netzsphaere.xyz @realcaseyrollins@social.teci.world Where else you gonna play Dragon's Crown? (yes the vita)
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