i should be violently raped by a celebrity or a politician after initially getting a good impression of them and liking them so that i'm always second guessing myself and other people and trusting nobody while being constantly attacked by flashbacks whenever people talk about them in everyday conversation or even spammed everywhere online. make it severe, let every possible flashback be the worst that it could be. make them stay relevant and talked about forever. make me never be able to substantially get better about it so that i have to become severely addicted to a cocktail of barbituates and other medications just to function, but still with regular daily severe flashbacks and panics, even when heavily disassociated, and so that i'll be hospitalized if i forget my dose for even an hour. but not die. I'll make countless suicide attempts and never succeed, it'll permanently disable me. i'll reaffirm my trueceldom by shooting myself through the skull with a shotgun and just barely surviving, listening to doctor fucking vile piece of shit menace doctor scum all doctors are scum pure evil scum, talking about what a miracle it is i survived, when my conditions never improve, and i'm more grotesquely repulsively disgustingly deformed than an acid attack victim. make that famous person stalk me. when they rape me, make them call me a dirty tranny, a subhuman, who deserved it, an ugly russian shitbag, a fucking drooling retard, every possible insult as bad as possible towards everything that could hurt me, so that i become extremely insecure about everything about me, so that every trait of mine is disgusting and wrong and just there to attract rapists who get turned on by it or think i'm easy to rape because of it (like the autism). and in the period where i adapt and while in agony and wishing i could end it all without failing or getting warded afterwards, which will happen on a regular basis with the usual cruel painful abuses and future rapings in the ward, i want my rape to come out as a big scandal, but not one that ruins his career or ever lose relevance, and i want him to dox my alongside with it, i want everyone to be coming up to me asking about it, and be even more constantly remind of what happened to me. i want it to be big news, like monica lewinsky big, to be talked about for years with constant harassment by strangers asking about it or talking about it or really fucking anything painful to me, creeps thinking that means i'm easy, coming to try it out for themselves. make my life a miserable hell in the purest way possible. i dont want to die anymore, i deserve much worse. worthless disgusting fucking washed up ugly tranny fucking retarded drooling sped fucking tweaker whore addict piece of shit subhuman mongrel disgusting evil worthless fucking worthless stupid fucking retard whore scum faggot bitch of a stupid fucking ugly retarded tweaker whore

@ube
you can't be truecel if you're the raped tho

@dagda i repented from my sins and got rebaptized