Conversation
@theorytoe i feel like it's a problem when i'm not male though
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@shibao @theorytoe this is a brainworm y'gotta get outta yer head, lass.
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@f0x @theorytoe maybe i grew up in too much of a fundamentalist christian environment, but idk how to not feel spiritually defective especially when i feel cut off from god. but maybe it is a brainworm from too much strictly gendered western thinking. but i definitely feel much more masculine than most of my friends
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@shibao @theorytoe Masculinity does not make you any less female. This is a falsification, that, you "have to feel like the gender you are". You simply are the gender you are, which in all honesty, has minimal application outside of physical exertion/build differences.
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@theorytoe @shibao spiritually male women are a damn blessing
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@f0x @theorytoe maid is telling me that she has met lots of people like me so maybe i have just been in a bubble for a lot of my life. i have only met one person who is similar to me, which is a coworker except i never really talk to her at all because she works on different projects...
also she was telling me about how she likes going to strip clubs and i was like i'm kinda good on that 😅
also she was telling me about how she likes going to strip clubs and i was like i'm kinda good on that 😅
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@shibao @theorytoe @f0x everyone has aspects of both sexes in their minds/personalities/souls, and to me it seems like it's pretty independent of physical sex (once you know what you're looking at). you are not broken or wrong in any way.
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@georgia i think i get what you're talking about, i was never really spiritually materialist or hedonist i guess
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@bajax @theorytoe @f0x yes but i guess most distilled, to me it has always felt uniquely masculine in the ways i felt like i was forced to take on yokes and go on long journeys and fight through things, or at least it always felt that way
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@theorytoe @f0x i agree, i'm not talking about gender in the physical world
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@bajax @theorytoe @f0x sorry i was rereading these replies and realized that i might not've been clear, i was not talking about physical gender/sex, purely spiritual. maybe a better way to put it would be like i've always felt like i had way too much yang energy and barely any yin energy. i mean, i do think it has probably impacted the material world a lot but i am just talking about independent of the physical world
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@shibao @theorytoe @f0x do you think you clash with what the world wants from you? with who/what you yourself wish you were? do you wish you had more "yin" energy? or do you feel like others expect it?
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@shibao @f0x @theorytoe (or something else; I tried to avoid saying "or" too much because the answer isn't necessarily one or the other)
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@bajax @theorytoe @f0x 1. not really, i just think the world always wants more than you can give, 2. i guess if i had to put it to words, that i felt like i was more congruous with the world around me. but then again, i do value myself, i wouldn't want to compromise myself just for those around me. but it does feel tiring feeling different. i don't think many other people feel like they have a yoke in life. 3. yes, i do feel like it is unbalanced, to my detriment, and i have to "force" it too much. also sometimes it feels embarrassing, so maybe people do expect it at some level
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@shibao @theorytoe @f0x yeah I know how much it can suck, feeling out of place like that, not really belonging anywhere, like you just stick out. in that regard I'm in the same boat as you; sorry I can't be more helpful than that. all I can say is that being "spiritually male" doesn't sound like something that necessarily needs to change in and of itself.
do you at least have an idea of what you want? like what an acceptable end goal for you would look like?
do you at least have an idea of what you want? like what an acceptable end goal for you would look like?
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@bajax @theorytoe @f0x >do you at least have an idea of what you want? like what an acceptable end goal for you would look like?
probably something like a more natural blend of yin and yang energy. better harmony. at the moment all of my spiritual shit is constant spiritual straining 24/7 like someone who doesn't eat enough spiritual fiber
probably something like a more natural blend of yin and yang energy. better harmony. at the moment all of my spiritual shit is constant spiritual straining 24/7 like someone who doesn't eat enough spiritual fiber
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@shibao @theorytoe @f0x you have any concrete ideas on how you'd like to go about that? maybe get into like some kind of expressive artistic stuff? what aspects of "yin" you'd like to have at your disposal?
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@bajax @theorytoe @f0x >you have any concrete ideas on how you'd like to go about that?
my plan is to sit in a hole for a long time
>maybe get into like some kind of expressive artistic stuff?
permhabs
>what aspects of "yin" you'd like to have at your disposal?
when i think of yin, i think of turning voids into hearths. for an example, i guess the same for me always feels like a struggle, like a man fighting to plant seeds into the earth. there are a lot of aspects that this duality touches on but rather than aspects i just wish i had a better balance and cohesion of both
my plan is to sit in a hole for a long time
>maybe get into like some kind of expressive artistic stuff?
permhabs
>what aspects of "yin" you'd like to have at your disposal?
when i think of yin, i think of turning voids into hearths. for an example, i guess the same for me always feels like a struggle, like a man fighting to plant seeds into the earth. there are a lot of aspects that this duality touches on but rather than aspects i just wish i had a better balance and cohesion of both
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@shibao @theorytoe @f0x rofl well, if you think sitting in a hole is gonna help. maybe, idk.
do you have any pets? I raised a litter of kittens that showed up in my basement, and I think that uh-- awakened stuff in me I didn't really consider before. nurturing type shit. maybe something like that'd be useful?
do you have any pets? I raised a litter of kittens that showed up in my basement, and I think that uh-- awakened stuff in me I didn't really consider before. nurturing type shit. maybe something like that'd be useful?
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Cathemerawl
awl@shitposter.world
@shibao it isn’t that much of a problem. My wife is kind of like that. Part of why we get along so well
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@awl i'm thinking part of the problem is that i've somehow gone through my entire life without meeting many people like me...
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Cathemerawl
awl@shitposter.world
@shibao Minnesota has plenty of feminine men who will make you a good husband (maybe). Bonus is range days with some weird fediverse fudd and his retard wife
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@awl yeah i can't be with men while women still exist. also i have lived in the warm my entire life, both sides of my family come from the warm, i love the warm. i would die in minnesota lmao
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Cathemerawl
awl@shitposter.world
@shibao oh my apologies. Surely there are tard wives just waiting in warmer midwest places
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@awl yeah they need to move to the south already
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@shibao It's not, all the hottest women are spiritually male
Unfortunately they also turn out to be ftm like half the time u_u
Unfortunately they also turn out to be ftm like half the time u_u
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annoyed Homura
subnetter@shitposter.world
@shibao what does that even mean though, and I'm saying this as someone who gets accused of being male because of my hobbies, typing style, and mannerisms.
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annoyed Homura
subnetter@shitposter.world
@shibao @f0x @theorytoe I don't think that's something you're making up in your head. I had a similar upbringing growing up in the church, adopted by pastors, and I always felt that way around my female friends and later learned I do indeed have masculine mannerisms and an androgynous vibe from my friend who is a masc.
Even when I dressed feminine I felt like I was in a costume. I'm not trans or anything but it didn't fit my vibe if that makes sense.
Even when I dressed feminine I felt like I was in a costume. I'm not trans or anything but it didn't fit my vibe if that makes sense.
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@subnetter @f0x @theorytoe thank you, i think i might still have certain things i might need to study more, but i am definitely beginning to feel less weird about it all. thank you
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