@lucy yeah this still comes off as assholish and uncalled for.

@lucy@netzsphaere.xyz i think OP should get friends

@lucy I'm really sick of passing ideology. Sexual dimorphism in humans is 10% or less, the problem is everyone trying to force themselves into a high femme mold that not even most cis women fit into.

@lucy@netzsphaere.xyz would be pretty funny if someone tried this with me though, I'd just make fun of them

@lucy @FinalOverdrive Pretty common to seek some kind of hyperfemininity at first steps of transitioning imo, I skipped it

@lucy this post makes me feel like I was infected with RFK’s brainworm

@evamik @lucy I am currently starting out and it's not even my goal. Speaking of which...i have a toot seeking advice about this.

@kim @lucy It is not even a phase worth wanting.

@FinalOverdrive @lucy I go with some kind of feminine metalhead goals like I answered to you

@evamik @lucy okay. Thanks. You think proportionate breast forms would make sense too?

@evamik @lucy I don't want to wear skirts, but if that's what it takes I'll do it.

@FinalOverdrive @lucy I go usually with black militarish shorts in summer and in winter just black velvet pants that widen towards the ground, tbh here I don't see women wearing skirts that much. I wouldn't wear mine if it didn't have pockets and nice corset like back and certain looks

@FinalOverdrive @lucy Welp, never considered those, besides if you're starting HRT you'll get growth quite fast anyway

@evamik @lucy hrt...that remains uncertain and sometime off.

@lucy @FinalOverdrive Mileage varied

@evamik @lucy How the hormones affect you comes down to stuff beyond human control.

@lucy @FinalOverdrive I struggled before HRT with just maintaining weight (been seriously underweight too, not anymore) but I've gained from ~68kg to 76kg in 2.5 years while being 181 cm, gonna try soon weight cycling to see if it does any neat difference but I'm happy with my growth so far.

@lucy @FinalOverdrive @meso Mood, similar issue due to living for years with student budget before

@lucy Completely normal, sensible and otherwise sound behavior from definitely a well adjusted person and not a weird-ass chan troll making shit up.

@lucy Like

The probability of cis friends throwing their friend under the bus like that the moment some stranger comes to "break it to her?"

Bitch please :D

@meso @FinalOverdrive @lucy Yeah when I finally could try out my cooking skills properly and have a decent kitchen for it without a roommate dropping chicken bones to the floor I also started loving cooking and eating properly as well.

Family couldn't cook shit though like weirdest abomination mother made was putting minced meat out of the box to the oven till it's crispy with zero sides, sauces or anything which is kinda why we mostly had convenience foods in fridge which usually lack nutrients.

@lucy Nah

Everything about this sounds more like a power fantasy of a "non-passing" chan troll to make themself feel a tiny sliver of emotion from seeing the replies to their shitty thread.

Also, passing is a bs right-wing blunt weapon to keep trans people in line by leveraging dysphoria and warped beauty standards.

@lucy @miiamustang They're right Miia. Even in safer situations, one is one moment of bad luck away from getting targetted.

@lucy So are firearms :3

@miiamustang @lucy Quit being snarky about this. I like you miia, but please no.

@FinalOverdrive @lucy I don't pass and I'm willing to fight any mf looking to chance it with me.

If I die for being trans, Imma do it fighting and not hiding.

@miiamustang @lucy And hats off to that kind of courage. Would that we all had that.

@FinalOverdrive @lucy Look,

I'm honestly sorry for the snark on such a loaded topic, it was wrong of me to do that.

There's a lot of stuff passing does play a role in, especially in places where trans folks aren't safe.

So yeah, I sincerely apologize for not handling the topic with the sort of delicate touch it calls for.

@miiamustang @lucy okay

@evamik @lucy @FinalOverdrive i didn’t get all that much growth after the first 6 months; most of it happened recently (4 years later) because i’ve gained a little weight and also switched from prescription pills to DIY injections

not that boobs or height really matter all that much when it comes to passing. i see tall (180cm+) cis women with small breasts pretty often, and they have all the same problems with finding clothes that fit. shoes too small, sleeves too short, etc.

i’ve said it before but imo it’s 45% voice, 35% vibes and confidence, 20% looks (as in haircut and how well you dress and take care of yourself, assuming you’re not going bald or have a visible beard). not counting my own experiences there because i’ve had it way easier than most.
it’s much healthier if, instead of attempting to become unclockable, you try to reduce the cognitive dissonance in others as much as possible. first impressions matter because people like to compartmentalize, and if you can fit into their “butch lesbian” stereotype, that’s much better than making them wonder wtf your deal is.
before i passed, i went through an androgynous phase where i just looked like i might be in a gay rock band or something. that was way easier to deal with.

also it’s practically impossible to pass to other trans women. they’ll clock you because of shit that has nothing to do with the above. e.g. i can tell when someone’s traumatized in a certain way just from their body language, even if they’re otherwise completely stealth.

@mia @lucy @evamik Well, butch bi in my case. However strong my "feminine" preference.

@mia @lucy @evamik in any case I'm not going for "unclockable". It's not realistic given my being tone deaf and my overall situation.

@miiamustang @lucy passing is literally about whether or not you are perceived as female or male at the end of the day. People get treated differently based on that alone and being openly GnC is dangerous 9/10.

Also I hate to break it to you but a lot of women lie to their trans friends about passing, because they feel bad or want to be nice. It's just the truth of it.

Pic Rel.

@teratology @lucy Whoa

Those are some shitty friends then.

Also pic provided mentions "random women", not sure how well that depicts friendships. 🤷‍♀️

@lucy @Paulajak maybe reflect on how many passoids you’ve met irl and how many of them have acted like personified /tttt/ trollposts

@teratology @lucy And the point I was trying to make wasn't about "being nice to preserve feelings", but rather, how friends would behave when an outsider shithead starts some shit.

To think they'd just turn on the spot and say "yeah, nah, you look like a man" is just goofy lol

@miiamustang One time someone on xenofemmes wanted people honest opinion about dating lesbians and got mad at the truth that many are not interested in dating people who are male despite transitioning. The truth hurts sometimes, but most women usually lie to their friends and coddle them over their relationships and poor choices anyways.

It's not far fetched that women would lie to their trans friends about passing, because if they were honest they'd lose their shit. My mutuals have openly admitted and told me that they will never see my FtM friend as a man. I'm not surprised at all. If you really want to be sure or certain go stealth and find out. There's a lot of coddling on social media.

@lucy @Paulajak bet you never will

@miiamustang because women try to be nice and compliment people who don't pass to make them feel better, and some are self aware enough to realize they're getting clocked

@miiamustang normal ppl don't act like that for sure

@teratology And I say fuck that noise lol

@lucy@netzsphaere.xyz this def didnt happen

@anemone @lucy yeah, 100% fabricated like the rest of the greentext stories on that board

@lucy@netzsphaere.xyz because no midshits are passoids

@lucy@netzsphaere.xyz i have every idea

@lucy@netzsphaere.xyz you have them

@teratology But like... I wanna add here though

It is 100% true that passing is used to scare people to stay in the closet.

"Hormones won't save you from becoming a hon" etc is just far-right info campaign to keep trans people miserable in secret.

And it's also really quite widespread too.

So while yes, how one is being perceived is a huge matter of safety and such, passing is commonly weaponized against trans people too.

@teratology And like... I honestly can't speak for those who live in places where trans folks are facing all manner of horrid shit.

But I can still point out how the very idea of passing, while in some cases a necessity, is still something imposed upon trans people through coercion.

And that's why I am so stubborn about it.

@miiamustang in latin am you will get murked if you don't pass

@lucy@netzsphaere.xyz when did that happen

@teratology I imagine that's the case, yeah.

Not to mention places where being trans is just flat-out illegal, but where you can't safely leave the country either.

Belarus and Russia come to mind.

@anemone @lucy oldshit passoids clearly exist though

@teratology@the.asbestos.cafe @miiamustang@eliitin-some.fi random strangers will still coddle you so trying to go stealth isn't a good indicator unless you live somewhere where it's dangerous to not pass

@lucy @anemone doesn’t invalidate my point

@lucy this person should be removed from society

@anemone @miiamustang I have a MtF friend who is pretty accepting of her circumstances and biological reality so she has accepted that she will never truly look the same as a female in terms of bone structure, head size, etc. But she said that she regrets getting plastic surgery and work done, because people treat her better because of it but she finds that to be the problem and I agree.

Sadly being gender conforming is still dangerous at this point in time so I can understand why people try hard to pass esp for the sake of their jobs and safety, but I think it's also unfair for trans women to hold themselves to the same standards the west has for conventional women's beauty standards. Most of us WoC don't even fit that standard anyways (not saying I understand the struggle of having dysphoria) so I think TW shouldn't either. I think it's much more liberating to live in your own truth than trying to convince others of it.

@lucy frankly imageboards should be removed from society but lets start with this miserable little freak

@lucy not as long as people like this can still make their own issues everyone elses t bh

@teratology@the.asbestos.cafe @miiamustang@eliitin-some.fi why would getting treated better be a problem? On a societal scale, yes, it's a problem but i'd rather be treated better as opposed to worse lol

@anemone @miiamustang I mean I guess the way she framed it was that she felt that she shouldn't need to have gotten plastic surgery to be treated decently in society. She's latina as well so I can understand since our families tend to be more conservative and less accepting than I've seen from white parents in the states. Ofc that might vary depending if religion is involved but most latinos are religious af.

Her partner of years was Indigenous Mexican and lemme tell you.... he threw her into the wolves den. Not literally, but almost literally 😭 because she didn't have surgeries or work done back then and as soon and she met his family, his brother saw her, took one look up and down, and ran to the kitchen to tell his mom that his brother brought home a "vato" 💀

@teratology@the.asbestos.cafe @miiamustang@eliitin-some.fi oh yeah i agree but unfortunately you do

@teratology@the.asbestos.cafe @miiamustang@eliitin-some.fi i need to get more work done but unfortunately i cant fix my height

@anemone @teratology @miiamustang i read this shit and even telling myslef its some psycho on an imageboard its like, damn, im so distraught i get a flash in my head like wanna puke. ive lost 30lbs and even if i lose more weight ive just got unfixable shit wrong with my shape.

@anemone @miiamustang if it makes you feel better there are short kings who get leg lengthening surgery or some other shit, I have girlfriends who are 6ft and not trans either

@teratology@the.asbestos.cafe @miiamustang@eliitin-some.fi leg shortening would just fuck up your proportions imo plus getting both your legs broken and bolted back together sounds awful

@bot @anemone @miiamustang I don't think there's anything wrong with trans people admitting and/or accepting that they can't attain something that is impossible.

@teratology @anemone @miiamustang finding a short guy for my band so we can try and do weezer 2 and get him zonked out on painkillers after his leg surgery and write some shit that will make sad boys freak out

@teratology@the.asbestos.cafe @anemone@ebiverse.social @miiamustang@eliitin-some.fi you can always notice, they have tiny hands

@ciel@kokoro.garden @anemone@ebiverse.social @teratology@the.asbestos.cafe @miiamustang@eliitin-some.fi the only effective cope is to not think about it too hard

@nik @ciel@kokoro.garden @anemone@ebiverse.social @teratology@the.asbestos.cafe @miiamustang@eliitin-some.fi people in general are the same way about height as being traditionally attractive also, its pretty dumb but i'm not sure that will ever be changed let alone in my lifetime. maybe we can all be 6 feet tall halo master chiefs with gene editing i cant remember what the really tall people are called rn

@nik @ciel@kokoro.garden @anemone@ebiverse.social @teratology@the.asbestos.cafe @miiamustang@eliitin-some.fi the only thing to do is be the best you can be in your own constraints imo, just getting fit would help a lot of people

@teratology @anemone @miiamustang is there something like that for the penis?

@teratology @anemone @bot @miiamustang a lot of people worry to much about getting things they won't be able to get ever

@arcana @anemone @teratology @miiamustang i need to travel to sweden

@arcana @anemone @bot @teratology @miiamustang yeah, I'm excited for the day this is coupled with ai to finally have a robogf

@arcana @anemone @bot @teratology @miiamustang real? so far i only have an ai waifu on a free service page

@arcana @anemone @bot @teratology @miiamustang hell muthafukin yea