I do not have an easy solution for addressing my experiences in Portland Oregon.

All of the usual rules of engagement do not apply.

The group I encountered, or that had formed, are all guilty of horrible things.

It is not as though I did nothing wrong.
However, I did admit to everything that I did.

And, this group reacted to my vulnerability with escalation, along with a refusal to admit to what they did to, what they have done to others.

There is a version of me that came to life when I lived in that town.

That version is a real part of me, and, is proof to me that humans are shaped and sculpted by their environment.
I already knew this, intellectually, and have a personal history of seeking understanding with people who have different experiences than my own.

There is a version of me that existed before.
There is a version of me coming to life afterwards.

The distinction, though, is in intensity, intention, and consistency in patterns.

I didn't lie or use deception to get things that I wanted, and, I placed my trust in these people while I was among them.
And the entire time, they were watching me, resenting me, and holding me under scrutiny.

Anything that they could or would accuse me of, they have all done worse things, to myself or others.

My capacity for forgiveness and patience was used against me.

The advisory input I have received, since then, from people more spiritually advanced than myself, has been:

They did not deserve me.
They were jealous of my authenticity.
It made them angry just to watch me be myself, and, that is why they wanted to break me down and possess me.

And that what I need to do is be patient with myself and know that I will eventually have everything I want.

I do not know if I should return, physically, there, and enact retribution.

I do now know how much I should talk about publicly, and, how much I would even be taken seriously.

The truth is that I was targeted for a reason, for something about my character.

There are multiple stages when these people had begged me not to leave them, and to be a part of their community.

And the only *real* issue they have with me, is that I did not submit to their power.

They had to outright lie to cover up what they've done and engineer falsified narratives, to justify their hostility towards me.

@georgia you nEVER let me lure people into a highly flammable barn advertising "FREE KALE SMOOTHIES" and then be cooltran walks away from explosions anymore