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spinnin








свобода
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my sniffer is gunna sneeeeeze
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new hampshits, massholes, connecticunts, vermints, mainiacs, broad island
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all men wanna do is dig holes all day
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the masculine urge to dig a big hole
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I like the burn from ab workouts
I’ve started putting a little pillow under my butt and no more back pain, I can go for ages baby
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Why don’t the Canadians come down and visit us for thanksgiving, we’re brothers
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New England is so beautiful and great (not Massachusetts)
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Do non Americans in America celebrate thanksgiving
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im glad outerheaven didn’t accept me bc I love netzphaere
good turn of events
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,bitch boy
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Santa, abs pls
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was feeling “im too hungry to workout, but if I eat I won’t wanna” but then i remembered
GOD BLESS BEING WELL ENOUGH TO WORKOUT
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American school lunches (recent)
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snow!
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nightmares shouldnt get to "i will kill myself if i ever have to see that again" tier
wtf is wrong with brains to do that to themselves???
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im also definitely doing better because im not having absolutely fucking horrendous nightmares regularly anymore
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a feel like a trip to russia would help me gain my confidence back
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overall i think things are going much better, it just takes a lot more work
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i talked to my mom about how guilty i feel about my brothers death. this is the first time a family member has engaged in a conversation with me about it. usually when i bring it up i get the "well we all knew he was heading this way anyway" talk. i dont really feel better or worse. everyone feels guilty, but no one could help. it was nice to hear im not alone in my guilt, and my reasons for it are shared.

it's been about 5 months now? its still just as sad. i have to remind myself that grief is a heavy backpack that you don't have to carry around. you can pick it up and put it down
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